Wife Swap: Cullen's VS Clark's
by shortevilpixie
Summary: *Re-write of original story* Will the Cullen's have to go to church? Is Emmett a cross dresser? Why is Edward playing strip poker with his family? and WHY is a 14 year old old Ness making out with 19 year old old Jacob? The Cullen kids are sure to drive the new mom insane. Multiple POVs. Fun filled family humour!
1. Sending The Letter

**New re-post of my story, "Wife Swap: Cullen's vs Clark's". **

**I know the Cullen's wouldn't be stupid enough to go on TV, as their secret would be exposed, and I know the wouldn't still live in Forks after all these years. So just go with the flow. **

**P.S- They do still live in Forks in my story... Same house, same cars... and Renesmee would look to be around about 13, 14 or 15 years old. **

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Emmett's POV.**

"EMMETT McCARTY CULLEN, DO NOT PRESS THAT !#$%^&* BUTTON!" Alice screeched from upstairs in her room, where she was probably picking out everyone's outfits for the next day.

I was pretty sure the humans in Seattle would have heard that, she was so loud.

"Geez, calm down, Alice". I muttered to myself as I moved the little arrow on the laptops screen and clicked 'print'. "It's just a tiny innocent button and you do not have to yell at me. I am a vampire".

"NO, IT IS NOT EMMETT!". She screeched, darting down the flights of stairs with super human speed and coming to a halt beside me in front of the printer. My adopted pixie like sister started tapping her foot impatiently as the pages spilled out neatly in to the printers tray. My Rosie finally looked up from her thick fashion magazine.

"What's going on?" She asked, quite clueless to our 'disagreement' and directed her question to Alice.

"Well," Eddie answered, suddenly appearing from the kitchen with my niece and sister-in-law in tow, "from what I see" He said, and nodded at me, "Emmett has decided he is going to fill out a Wife Swap application so we can be on the television show".

"We're going to be in deep trouble". Jasper muttered from his place on the couch where he was reading.

"Cool!" Nessie exclaimed and came bouncing over next to me and collected the freshly printed documents. She then laid them out on the small coffee table which was between the two couches we had.

Eddie sighed, "I can see Emmett has no intention of _not _sending out the application and even if we all him no he will find a way... So I guess we may as well fill it out now".

"Yes!" I whooped and jumped up from the chair to do an air punch.

"But we all have to be very careful to keep our secret". Eddie added. "And stop calling me Eddie!"

"Yes sir". I replied and everyone quickly followed with mumbles of things like, "fine", "alright" and the best of all was "of course sir daddy mister!" which of course was from Nessie. I did an army salute at Edward before getting a pen and sitting down next to my niece on the couch.

"Okay, so who am I pretending to be?" I asked no one in particular.

"Carlise". Bella informed me.

I looked searched though the papers and found the first question. Well this one was easy;

Family name - _ Cullen. _I scrawled.

Fathers name and age - _ Carlisle 30. _That seemed like a reasonable age. Edward nodded.

Mothers name and age - _ Esme 29._

Names and ages of children from this marrige -

_Isabella 18. _Bella grumbled quietly when I wrote her full name as she preferred to be called by her nickname. I ignored her and carried on writing.

_Edward 17._

_Emmett 19._

_Rosalie 18. _"How come you get to be a year younger and I don't?" Rose whined.

"Cause I'm awesome".

_Jasper 19. _Rosalie growled again.

_Alice 17. _Well, she was small enough. I don't think anyone living with us for two weeks would believe she was really 19 anyway.

_Renesmee. _I paused and looked at her. _14, _I wrote.

Bella nodded in agreement.

"What about Jacob?" Renesmee piped up. "He spends so much time here anyway".

_Jacob 19. _Renesmee squealed with delight. "Jake", she yelled to the dog basically chowing down the kitchen, "you're living here for two weeks". I was glad I had made my niece happy, even if I did have to put up with werewolf stench for a couple of weeks.

"Okay". He replied. I knew he had super dog hearing, being a shape-shifter and all ,so he would've heard our entire conversation.

I turned back to the application.

Fathers job and work schedule -_ Doctor 9am - 8pm, Monday to Saturday._

Mothers job and work schedule -_ Stay at home mom, part time home interior designer. ._

How long have you been together? -_ 13 years._

If married, for how long? -_ 9 years._

Who takes care of the following responsibilities in your family-

Childcare -_ Esme._

Shopping -_ Alice and/or Rosalie._

Cleaning -_ Esme, Alice, Edward or Bella._

Cooking -_ Esme and Edward._

Money -_ Carlisle and Alice._

Social life -_ Esme, kids organize their own._

Kids homework -_ Kids._

What pushes your buttons? - I paused for a second before scrawling down one word; _Emmett._

Pets? - I thought about writing Jacob's name down... Nah. _None._

Describe dinner time in your family - Well if I wrote the truth they would have a heart attack. _Dinner time in our family is not organized in our family as we all come home at different times and have our own preferences in what we eat and at what time._

What rules must your children follow? -_ No damaging the house and any of it's contents. Also, the children must respect each other. _

I folded the papers and grabbed an envelope from next to the computer in the family room. The room was silent and everyone was watching me as I sealed the envelope with my venom.

"So", I exclaimed once I'd finished. "Who would like to post it?"

**Okay, so that was my intro chapter. **

**Review and thank you for taking your time to read this. A new chapter will be up soon...**


	2. I can't believe you did that!

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Esme's POV.**

Carlisle and I stepped out of his comfortable black Mercedes. I caught the scent of my wonderful and sometimes crazy family, Edward, Bella, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Renesmee and Jacob. Even though Jacob wasn't really part of this family yet, he would be one day and I still thought of him as one of my sons.

It was just as well everyone was home right now. I was about to request a family meeting as a few minutes ago I found a very interesting letter in our mail box. I heard Edward calling everyone into the family room as he just heard my thoughts.

**A couple of minutes later...**

"Please explain why this letter has been sent to us?" I asked, seating myself on one of the two leather couches. I waved my hand in the direction of the unopened letter on the coffee table.

"It's come, we got in!" Alice squealed, breaking away from Jasper's embrace and tearing open the envelope.

"_Dear Cullen family" _she began reading aloud with an excited tone, _"congratulations, you have been accepted for our television show, Wife Swap. We everyone in our production team adored the DVD you sent us and we all agreed that your family would make great entertainment. The film crew and limousine will be at your residence on the ninth of April and will be filming for ten days. No cameras will be present during the weekends except for when we pick up, drop off Esme and drop off your new mom. The cameras will film your new mom getting acquainted with your residence and the first meeting between you. They then will return on Monday morning through to Friday evening, and likewise the next week._

_The limousine will pick up Esme at nine-fifteen sharp, but please be ready by nine-am._

_Yours sincerely _

_Wife Swap team._

"Alice warmed up to the idea" Edward added, noticing my shocked expression and mouth hanging half way open.

"Please Esme" Emmett begged, "please go on the show for us, mommy".

I rolled my eyes at Emmett when he said 'mommy'.

~~~~ **Ten minutes later ~~~~**

"Fine" I sighed, giving in after suffering from pleading looks from my children and grandaughter. I would do anything for them, even go on a ridiculous television show where they create drama over nothing. I was surprised that even Rosalie was silently pleading with me. I knew from past experiences that even if I tried I wouldn't win this one. Not when everyone want me to agree.

Edward chuckled. Probably because of my thoughts.

"I've already had a vision" Alice reassured me, "our secret will be positively, perfectly safe".

"Well" Carlisle spoke up for the first time, " I suppose this will be fine, not to mention quite a good experience for us all. We may even be able to improve another families' lives".

"Yes...This will be an interesting experience" I commented, "I've never been away from you guys for more than three days at a time".

Everyone agreed with me there.

"So who wants to see the DVD? Jazzy here helped me with it" Emmett announced and grinned. Jasper tried to hide his smirk.

"Where's the popcorn?" Renesmee yelled from on the floor at Edward's feet.

The new wife was in for a hell of a time, stuck with my chaotic and very loud family for a whole two weeks.

Emmett whipped out a disc from somewhere and shoved it in the DVD player.

"Don't break it Em" Rosalie muttered.

Edward handed Nessie a bowl of popcorn.

"Thanks daddy, uh... I mean Edward" she smiled.

Edward smiled back. "Good to see you're practicing already" he noted.

"Get ready!" Emmett yelled and jumped back onto the couch.

**Bella's POV.**

Jasper, Alice, Edward (with Renesmee sitting at his feet) and I sat on one of the soft couches while Emmett and Rose sat on the loveseat. Carlisle, Esme, and Jacob sat on the other couch to my left. My daughter had developed a taste for sitting on wooden floors, for some reason.

Emmett tossed Jasper the DVD player remote and Jasper pressed play before throwing it back.

A voice started talking. To a vampire, werewolf, or any other supernatural being, it sounded quite like Jasper, but to any ordinary human the voice could easily pass as Carlisle's. The voice continued to speak, _"so now you've heard a little bit about us, let's go see my children. Now all of my children are adopted and except for the siblings are not related by blood so we allow them to date within the family if they wish to"._

The camera started down the hallway on the third floor and 'Carlisle' opened the first door. Emmett was grinning at the camera while messing around on the laptop. Rosalie was scowling at the camera, about to throw the magazine she was reading at it. 'Carlisle' quickly closed the door and explained to the camera, "_because all of our children are adopted they come from troubled homes, but once you get to know them they are actually very lovely and thoughtful. Okay, so that was Emmett and Rosalie. Let's go find Edward and Bella"._

The camera continued down the hallway and 'Carlise' opened the door. Emmett started cracking up. So did Alice - she doubled over from laughter, followed by Jasper.

I groaned and hid my face in Edward's shoulder, who just chuckled and stroked my hair. I half watched us making out on the screen, completely unaware of the camera. Now I knew why Jasper was going around annoying everyone a few weeks ago.

'Carlisle' was still filming us when Edward finally noticed, got up from the bed, and slammed the door in his face.

_"They're pretty messed up too" _'Carlisle' explained as he walked down the hallway, down two flights of stairs and into the family room where Nessie and Jake were playing X-box. It was easy to see who was winning by the huge grin on Nessie's face and the strained look on Jacob's.

"_Renesmee is Edward's little sister and Jacob is Bella's best friend, we adopted him after his parents died in a car accident". _Nessie and Jacob paused the noisy game and shot the camera confused looks.

_"They don't like to be reminded of their pasts"._ 'Carlisle' whispered as he headed to our massive garage.

"unfortunately," 'Carlisle' said, his voice back to normal volume. _"Jasper, Alice's boyfriend is in Nebraska visiting extended family. Esme and I feel it's important for our children to be able to be in contact their families if they wish. Anyway, this is Alice, and as you can see, she is focused in admiring her car"._

Yep. I could see. Anyone even taking a glance at the screen could tell. She looked like she'd fallen in love with her car. Alice was daintily sitting on the bonnet of it, stroking the yellow paintwork of her Porsche. Without breaking her gaze she lifted her small gave a tiny wave to the camera.

'Carlisle' moved out of the garage and went out the back door. _"This is my lovely wife, Esme" _he declared. Esme looked up from where she was planting some sort of yellow flower and was about to say something when there was a loud bang and smashing sound coming from inside the house.

_"Emmett!' _She screeched and got to her feet.

_"It was Jake and Nessie's fault!" _he yelled.

_"Was so not!" _Renesmee screamed back.

Esme muttered something before stomping off into the house. 'Carlisle' was left standing awkwardly in the middle of the small, sheltered garden surrounding the house.

"_Well" _he concluded, "_that was my... sometimes a little odd but still wonderful family"._

The screen went black.

"I can't believe you did that!" I screeched at Jasper.

A wave of calm washed over me.

"Sorry Bella" Jasper apologized, "Emmett made me do it. Plus, you know I hate turning down dares".

"S'okay Jasper... But you!" I accused, turning to look at Emmett. "You will pay, I don't know how or where, but you _will _pay!"

"Why didn't you warn me Em?" Rosalie whined, "I didn't do my hair well that way. I thought we were staying home all day and no one would see me!"

Emmett rolled his eyes at her.

"What broke?" Nessie piped up with a mouth full of popcorn.

"Rose threw my laptop out the window". Emmett admitted with a cheesy grin on his face.

My daughter snorted. "Ha, what did you do, uncle Em? Not make out with her or something?"

Emmett smirked at Renesmee. "Something like that..."

"So..." Alice interrupted with a small cough, "I'm going to pack your bags, Esme. Would you like to help me?".

"Bag_s_?" Esme asked with a worried expression on her face.

"Uh huh" she replied, obviously showing no concern, "Rose, Bella, Nessie, you gonna help me?" Alice asked, rising to her feet as the rest of us were doing.

"Yup" Rosalie and Renesmee agreed in unusion. They both turned to look at me.

"Bella?" My daughter asked me, smirking.

"No way honey, you're going to help go pack your grandmas bags and _I'm _going to the meadow". I quickly gave her a hug. "With Edward" I added as quickly walked towards the door to avoid being Alice's barbie yet again.

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Morgan Clark's POV. (New mom)**

Oh my goodness!

It finally came. I knew my family was wonderfully perfect, and now I would be able to show them off to the whole world, or at least to the whole of America. I smiled to myself as I walked up my stone pathway and past my flawless garden, which I made my children pull weeds out of every morning as the sun rose.

I unlocked the door to my small three bedroom brick house. Once I was inside and had put down my handbag and the acceptance letter I headed left - straight to the fridge door to read the timetable. My daughter, Emma had ballet and then piano lessons. Sophia - my other daughter, had a cooking class and then she had a part-time job at the library. I made her get a job as soon as she had turned sixteen. She needed responsibilities.

I planned to tell my children about the Wife Swap letter in the car after I had picked them up from their school. I would also tell my husband when he got home from work that night.

Right. So now I had a little bit of spare time to fill. I decided I should go pack my bag and write a letter to the new wife explaining how our household is run. I grabbed a pen from the study and tied my strawberry blonde hair back and sat down at the table with a sheet of paper in front of me. We didn't have a computer (except for my husband, as he needed one for work) because I didn't want Sophia or Emma getting into trouble online. So I started writing the letter out by hand.

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**A/N: Tell me what you think! You know you want to click that little button that says 'review chapter' ;) Please take a minute of your time, even of you just leave a smiley face. Also, tell me what you'd lake to see happen in this story. **

**Reviews and ideas are greatly appreciated. **


	3. You date your sister?

**Edward's POV.**

We ran through the rotting, damp moss covered trees. Bella and I had just spent our last night at the cottage. Esme had done up two of the spare rooms as Nessie had taken my old room when she stayed at the main house. She once told me she liked knowing it had once belonged to Bella and I, it was comforting to her. One spare room - the smaller one, was for the new mom who'd be arriving soon and the other room was for Bella and I to stay if for the two weeks. Alice had helped Esme make it look like we had been living in our new room for years.

Today was the first day of the wife swap. We had it all planned out to make us look 'human'. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, my daughter - wait, no, my 'sister' and I would dress in our pyjamas and mess up our hair so it looked as if we had just got out of bed. We would stumble about and yawn in a human like fashion. Alice, Bella and Jacob would be fully dressed, as well as Carlisle and of course Esme. After we had said goodbyes to Esme we had to leave for three hours so we - Bella and I, would go to our meadow. Emmett and Rosalie were going to hunt on our land and then go to the local school to play on the playground. Well that was Emmett's idea, Rosalie would probably just watch. Carlisle would be going on a walk through the forest with Renesmee and Jacob. And finally Alice was dragging Jasper off to the mall.

As my gorgeous wife and I entered the clearing in front of the main house I was bombarded with loud thoughts that I hadn't been able to hear a couple of miles away.

_Oooh, I wonder if Bella would wear these heels? I mean they're not THAT high are they? Maybe I should ask Bella… where's Bella?_

_Spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does...damn it. I still can't get that song outta my head._

_WHAT, NO! They can't stop selling my favourite lipstick colour! Maybe I could find it in France?_

_I wonder if Doctor Snow needs any help with Mrs Murphy? _

_Jake's really hot... Shut up Nessie, dad can probably hear you...but he is seriously hot... Oh my goodness….._

_Argg. Too many emotions!_

_I'm hungry, I wonder what's in the fridge. I hope there's cream in the fridge, then I can shove it in Nessie's face and finally complete that dare that Emmett set me 2 months ago…_

_I'm going to miss my family, especially Carlisle and Edward...and Rosalie and Jasper...aw heck, I'm going to miss all of them._

I smiled to myself, took Bella's hand, and walked up to the front door.

**Morgan's POV.**

"Goodbye Sophia, take care of your sister while I'm gone and don't let the new mother teach you two any bad habits. Remember we're only doing this to improve the lives of another unfortunate family, not to turn into crazy hooligans."

"Yes mother, I know. I'll miss you."

I smiled, pleased at the perfect family I had achieved in raising before shutting the door to the limosine. I signalled to the driver that I was ready to leave and he started navigating the roads.

I didn't expect much of my new family, in fact, I expected nothing in way of morals and personal appearance. I of course assumed they would be very dysfunctional. The poor mother would probably work twenty-four-seven in a grocery store or as a cleaner to scrape together enough money for to support her husband's alcoholism and their 15 children. The children would be crammed together in a few small rooms and have next to no possessions of worth. I was sure they wouldn't be religious either. Maybe I could convert them and they would let Jesus into their lives to save them, I mused.

Of course all of my assumtions were shattered with once glance as soon and I turned my head to look out of the window.

I mean wow! Their house was massive, it must have at least several double bedromms and it looked to me like it had three stories. They must have a lot of money to be able to afford to buy a dwelling like this. It was right in the middle of a forest and I assumed they had a lot of land to go with. I got out of the limosine and noticed the camera crew had started filming me. I raised my chin, straightened my back and put a charming smile on my face. I turned back to look at the huge wood, stone, and glass structure. This was not a house, this was a mansion.

I walked up the stairs whilst wheeling my smallest bag behind me and looked at their front garden. It was nearly as neat and pretty as mine, though there were no flowers, only damp moss type plants. I didn't expect there to be much sun around this place. The humidity had got to me already and I could feel my hair sticking to the back of my neck. I just hoped every day wasn't like this. A man from the camera crw handed me a small silver key. I took it from him and unlocked the door.

The very first thing I saw was a large, very old wooden cross suspended on the wall and a shiny, expensive black grand piano.

"Maybe they do have some sort of faith" I wondered aloud. My voice echoed throughout the mansion. It was eerily quiet, as if it was meant to be filled with noise.

I made my way up the first flight of stairs as the bottom level was just an oversized foyer and what seemed to be a music room. I found the living room on the second story and saw a massive television, an X-box 360, Wii, stacks of DVD's and video games. I instantly believed the children were glued to the television screen all day and every day. I also noted the amount of seats, two long comfy sofas and one loveseat. Quickly glancing around the room and deciding nothing else caught my interest, I moved on to the kitchen. My jaw dropped, literally. I was appalled, I mean, they had fifty year old wine sitting in plain sight where the kids could easily get it, irresponsible parents. How dare they give their kids that much trust!

I walked back to the next staircase and glanced behind me. The whole wall of the kitchen and living room were made of glass. The living room had a modern yet ancient feel, as if there were hidden relics from hundreds of years ago. I was still towing my bag with me as I hoped to find my room. As I climbed the staircase to the third level, I discovered I was right, I did find my room, after I'd found the games room. Seriously, those kids could never be bored with all those games. Spoilt children. Some of the board games included Monopoly, Yahtzee, Chess, Cluedo, Connect Four, Snakes and Ladders andC. They also had an expensive Fooseball table, air hockey and a grand looking pool table. There were also many, many others that I wouldn't have a clue to what they were called. Call me mean but I just didn't think children should be entitled to that much selection of games and entertainment.

Just as I had put my bag down on my bed the camera man alerted me of another door I had missed downstairs. I followed him down to the first story door and opened it. What I didn't expect was for it to be a garage. A huge, massive garage. I assumed the father was a car collector. But who would need seven cars, wait, make that nine if you count the two extra spaces. And they were expensive too, except for the little red Volkswagon. There was a sleek black Mercedes, a shiny silver Volvo, a massive Jeep, a bright red Ferrari, a Ducati and a black Aston Martin. This family really did have a taste for expensive items.

I sighed climbed the stairs again to the second floor and had a quick peep into another door off the side of the living room. It was a decent sized office room, with a mahogany desk and a matching chair. There were a few medical journals on the surface of the table and papers were filed away in their cabients.

The mansion was perfectly clean and dustless as I walked up to the third floor.

I started with the first door down the long hallway on the left. Before I opened it I counted all the doors, six, not including mine. They must have a lot of kids.

As soon as I turned the handle it was easy to figure the colour scheme. Everything was a lemon yellow and black, with hints of white. There was a glass wall and huge double bed dominating middle of the room, but what really surprised me was the glass cabinet that contained lots of old army rifles. The parents must be very irresponsible, letting their child have access to weapons of any sort. There was also another door coming off this bedroom so I assumed it was an ensuite.

The next room's colour scheme was gold and light pink and looked like a young teenagers room with the paintings and photos covering a lot of the wall opposite the bed, it - like the last, had a glass wall opposite the door and what I thought was an ensuite. It also had another door which was maybe a cupboard, a huge double bed with a deep gold comforter and it's walls were painted a pale shade of pink with dark golden carpet..

The bedroom to the right of it was what could only be described as messy. At least there was no rotting, mouldy food anywhere, instead of food there was an unmade bed with the comforter throwing halfway across the floor, clothes scattered everywhere covering up the lovely deep brown carpet and just complete disorder. The only nice thing about this room was the creamy off-white walls with emblishments in it and the small half-circle deck looking out over the forest.

I quickly realised there was never any sun here, unlike my house.

The next room opposite the messy one room had a massive music and book collection, stored of shelves which took up a whole wall, a deep blue cover on the bed and yet another entire glass wall. The other walls were white with a tinge of blue, though it was that colour it still had a warm feel to it. At least this time it was neat and tidy.

The bedroom next to it was obviously the master bedroom. It was bigger than the others and grand, decorated with different hues of brown, black and deep purple. I decided not to pry any further into that room. The last room other than mine had makeup products of all types littering the large intricate dressing table that was centred in front of the glass wall. The walls were a deep cherry red colour and the carpet was an off white. The bed had a silky red and black cover on it and there was a large framed mirror hanging on the wall opposite the bed. Everything in this house looked so expensive.

I realised I didn't know anything about my new family and it occurred to me that the mother had left a manual to the running of the home on the dining room table for me. After finally finding my way downstairs to the living room, I discovered the dining room through another room off the side of the kitchen. It was like a never ending house! I glanced at my watch. I had fourty-five minutes until my new family were due to be home and I would be able to meet them.. I pulled out one of the twelve chairs from the antique table and flipped open the first page to the small booklet that had been put together.

_Dear new mom,_

_Welcome to my wonderful home. I hope you have a pleasant experience here and that you enjoy the company of my family. My name is Esme Cullen. Together my husband Carlisle and I have adopted eight children, who of which have all grown into responsible and caring teenagers. I will begin by telling you a little about each of my children._

_Jacob was adopted three years ago after his parents died in a car accident. He is now nineteen and has become Bella's best friend and has formed a very close bond with Renesmee._

_Renesmee, or Nessie as we call her is Edward's younger sister. She is the baby of the family and is fourteen. Nessie formed a close bond with Jacob because her parents were also involved in a fatal car accident._

_Edward is seventeen and loves classical music and playing the piano. He is considerate of others but is also extremely protective of Renesmee and Bella. Do not try and seperate them._

_Isabella, or Bella as we call her is eighteen and very fond of Renesmee. Bella loves reading and listening to Edward play piano. She has requested I do not tell you about her past as it is a sensitive subject for her. Bella is the older sister of Alice and the younger sister of Emmett._

_Emmett is nineteen and is the older brother of Bella and Alice. He is the prankster of the house and loves to tease Nessie and Edward. We adopted the three siblings when they were young children due to their unfortunate circumstances. _

_Alice is the youngest sibling of Emmett and Bella. She is seventeen and adores clothes and shopping. Alice loves to play 'guinea pig Barbie' with Bella and Renesmee. She is still like a child in many ways but wil step up to whatever challenge you give her._

_Jasper is nineteen and is Rosalie's older brother. They have had an extremely troubled past and wish not to talk about it. Jasper has emotional issues and confides his problems in Alice, who he has formed a close bond with._

_Rosalie is eighteen and may not be friendly to you at first, but she is very sweet on the inside. She is not very close with Jasper. Rosalie is very fond of Renesmee and loves shopping with Alice._

_Now you may be wondering why there are only five bedrooms. Well, since my children are not blood related - except for the siblings, and as they are only family by paper, Carlisle and I allow them to date within the family. The couples are - Edward and Bella, Emmett and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper. Renesmee, as well as Jacob do not currently date anyone._

_Here is a list of things I advise you to NOT do... or all hell will break lose._

_- Leave Emmett alone with anyone except Rosalie, Alice and /or Carlisle._

_- Seperate Edward and Bella against their will._

_- Take away Alice's credit cards or car._

_- Seperate Emmett and Rosalie against their will._

_- Get a pet (Alice is allergic and it is life threatening.)_

_- Take away Rosalie's shoes, clothes of makeup._

_- Take away anything of Alice's._

_- Seperate Jacob and Renesmee against their will._

_Otherwise, have fun. I hope my family treats you well and good luck._

_Best wishes,_

_Esme Cullen._

I was stunned. Absolutely, completely, and utterly stunned. Speechless! I was sure my mouth was hanging wide open.

First things first, how, _how_ could these parents let the children date each other? _And_let them share bedrooms. And second, these teenagers are spoilt. I did feel sorry for them, coming from troubled homes, but there's NO need to spoil them!

I glanced at my watch again, I had five minutes before I would meet my new family. I walked through to the lobby and looked out the glass wall, waiting.

While I was waiting, questions flooded my mind. What would these teenagers look like? What were their pasts like? Would they like me? Why did Carlisle and Esme adopt? Why teenagers? Why eight of them? I also wondered how Esme was doing. I hoped that my family weren't uninviting to her.


	4. Meeting The Clark's

**Esme's P.O.V.**

I took a look out the window and instantly loved where I would be spending my next two weeks.

The deep cherry red wooden door complemented the dark redish tinged bricks well. Whoever designed the house had taste. A butterfly danced near my head as I stepped out of the white limousine. It seems as though it would have come from the flower garden that was visible from the road, which lead up to the few steps before the door. I took the key from the waiting camera man and got one of my bags out of the back. The driver got my other bag for me - I'd managed to persuade Alice to only pack me two bags - and I walked up the cobblestone stone pathway. It reminded me greatly of the pathway at Bella and Edward's cottage. The garden was small but colourful, different types and shades of flowers scattered and circled the few small, but not fully grown trees.

The door opened smoothly with a quiet click. The layout was open-plan, simple, small, neat and tidy. The kitchen and dining room was to the left, family room to the right, and bedrooms and bathroom down the short hallway directly across the foyer entrance. All the flooring as far as I could see was polished wooden boards, and I certainly didn't smell any carpet fibres.

I wheeled both my bags down the hallway and stopped at the first door on my left. The pale wooden door was wide open and looked like the guest bedroom so I placed my bags next to the double bed and put my handbag on the plain white covers. I kicked off my black heels before investigating the house further.

The first bedroom I looked in; the one directly next to mine of the left, appeared to be an older teenagers room, but I saw no electronics which was intriguing. The near-bare walls were painted and off white. There was a lot of classical music lined up on the bookshelves and school books were lying on the violet covers of the single bed. Another thing I noticed was a guitar in the corner of the room by the desk. Maybe she was interested in music. I hoped her parents were feeing her intrests.

The door that was directly across the hallway was the bathroom and the door next to the lead to the master bedroom. I didn't want to intrude on their privacy so I skipped that and went onto the next and last room

The room was at the end of the hallway and had a plaster-of-paris moulded nameplate hanging on the door that read 'Emma'. They must just have two girls, and I assumed Emma was the youngest. I turned the handle and opened the door. Unlike the first bedroom, this was small, but that's not the thing - or things - that stood out the most. What jumped out to me was all the animal ornaments. There were mostly birds cluttering the wooden dressing table, but there were also dogs, cats, rabbits, goats, leopards, elephants and horses. They were all different sizes, colours and made from different materials. The biggest was a yellow, red and blue budgie and the smallest was a tiny white kitten on its back with its paws in the air. I tore my gaze from the little china figures and glanced around the rest of the room. Books took up most of the space on the bookshelf so there was little room for the colourful handmade clay vases that stood on the shelves squeezed in next to them. The covers on the bed were a light lemon yellow and the walls were bare except for the ballet poster that loomed above the bed.

I wandered back down the hallway and into the kitchen. They had photos of themselves scattered around the house. Two generic looking parents and two daughters. I found the manual sitting on the light dining room table. I pulled out a chair and sat myself down to start reading it. I heard the camera mechanisms zooming in on my face and the manual before I began. I opened the booklet and begun to read aloud.

"_To the new mother of this household;_

_Welcome, my name is Morgan Clark and my husband is named William. We have two wonderfully talented and gifted daughters, Sophia, who is seventeen, and Emma, who is nine._

_My children have nearly no free time unless spent with family as I believe if they do they will get into trouble, etc, smoking, parties, staying out late as so fourth. My children are involved in music tuition, graphic design, cooking classes and many more. It keeps them busy and out of trouble._

_Emma gets up at seven in the morning and goes to bed at eight pm every night without fail. Her classes are ballet, piano and pottery. On Saturday she does woodwork. She likes to carve various animals and although I do not support such a time wasting activity I allow her to carry on with it because otherwise she would have to sit at home on Saturdays and that is not acceptable. _

_Sophia gets up at six in the morning and goes to bed at nine pm. She has a part time job at the local library every day after school. After that she either has a graphics or cooking class according to their schedule which is located on the fridge. On the weekend she has guitar and singing lessons. Sophia got into 'punk' music when she was fourteen but I did not allow it as it taught violent and secular ways. I only let my children listen to classical music as it enhances their mind._

_We go to the local Catholic church every Sunday and I will not let my children date until they turn twenty. My husband has to work long hours (seven am to eight pm daily, except Sundays) and does not get to spend much time with the children or I. We all go to church together but afterwards William is usually busy with paperwork to do with managing his business. _

_Sophia gets to spend half an hour to an hour every day with her father and Emma only gets to see him is she is responsible enough to wake earlier than usual in the morning._

_I despise untidiness and dirt so I keep my house in perfect condition and expect my children to clean up after themselves. I do not let my children eat any unhealthy food at all, even at birthday parties they are expected to make healthy choices. Sophia and Emma are only allowed to watch the television for one hour on Saturdays with adult supervision with the only exception being if it is required for homework._

_Please take care of my children as I hope they will take care of you. I hope you and your family are able to learn a few things from this swap which you will carry with you for the rest of your lives. _

_Yours sincerely, _

_Morgan Clark._

I didn't know what to think, I only knew that these children needed to spend more time with their father and needed some more freedom! I didn't get much time to think over what I had just read as at that very second I heard their car pull up into the driveway. I went and sat down quickly on one of the large black sofas to wait for them to come through the door.

Of course I didn't have to wait very long.

Just as I was scanning the family room - there was a small black piano, a small flat screen television and a shaggy black rug, the door opened. A man walked in, he looked about in his fourties and his brown/grey hair was at the beginning of balding on the top and around his hairline. His garnet coloured eyes searched the family room and finally rested on me. Williams' eyes winded as he took me in, then he smiled warmly and turned to his children who had followed him inside.

"Well, say hello to your new mom."

A teenage girl walked up to me and I stood up to greet her.

"I'm Sophia. Nice to meet you" she declared and put her hand out. I looked into her bright blue eyes and shook her hand warmly.

"And I'm Esme." I smiled.

She smiled and stepped back to let her sister greet me.

Emma bounced forward and boldly hugged me. Luckily I was wearing a warm tank top under my green blouse so I hoped she wouldn't notice the coldness of my skin as much.I smiled and hugged Emma back. She finally released me and looked at me. Emma had light brown hair and bright blue eyes, a pretty combination. I glanced back at Sophia and decided she got her strawberry blonde hair from her mother.

"I'm Emma, I'm a little hyperactive as you can see."

"Nice to meet you finally, Emma." This girl would get on with Alice like two peas in a pod.

Emma went and sat down on the sofa with Sophia as William came up to me and shook my hand. Then he went and squashed in between his daughters, leaving me to sit on the other couch by myself.

"You know you don't have to squash together" I suggested, "one of you could sit next to me".

Emma took up my suggestion and without a word she came and plunked down next to me.

"So Esme," William started. I noticed he was wearing a suit, probably come straight from work especially for the swap. "Tell us a little about yourself."

"Yeah, like how many kids you have!" Emma blurted out.

"And what their names are." Sophia added quietly.

"Well," I said, taking a deep breath. I decided right there and then that I would hunt in a few days as my throat burned slightly. "I have eight children." I announced.

"But you look so young!" Sophia gasped.

"I have eight _adopted_ children" I corrected, "and I'm twenty nine".

"What are their names?" Emma asked.

"Their names are Edward and Renesmee, who are brother and sister. Rosalie and Jasper, who are siblings also, Emmett, Bella and Alice, they're all brother and sisters, and then Jacob.

"How old are they all?" William inquired.

"Renesmee is the baby of the family and is fourteen, Alice and Edward are seventeen, Rosalie and Bella are eighteen and Jasper, Jacob and Emmett are nineteen".

"It must be hard" William noted, "taking care of eight adopted teenagers."

"Oh, no, they're perfectly well behaved. They're all my little angels." I defended, "They may come from troubled homes but they are very lovely once you crack their shells and get to know who's really inside."

"Well, it sounds like you have lovely kids Esme. Now, I apologize but I have to get back to work, I've got a lot to do today." And with that, William got up and walked out the door. I waited a minute until heard the car start up and drive away before I spoke.

"Does that always happen?" I asked Emma, who'd just swung her feet up onto the tiny couch.

"Yup" Emma replied, popping the 'p', "daddy spends all of his time at work. We never see him."

"Sorry Esme" Sophia apologised, "you must be tired. I'm guessing you would be wanting to go unpack and settle in?"

If I was honest I would say I wasn't tired. Of course that would be quite odd as I'd spent a whole day travelling. I wanted to find out more about this family and improve these childrens lives. "Yes, that sounds appealing" I lied. "What are you girls going to do now?"

"I've got to practice my guitar." Sophia informed me.

"And I have to clean my room." Emma piped up.

"Okay, I guess I'll go unpack."


End file.
